


if i can't see you then i can't follow you

by firepoppies



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drinking to Cope, Friends to Lovers, M/M, S7E12: Make This Right, episode coda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-21 22:31:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17651102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firepoppies/pseuds/firepoppies
Summary: Severide had seen the look on Casey's face when Brett told them that the victim had died, and he had known ever since then that this case had gotten under the captain's skin.Coda toMake this Right.





	if i can't see you then i can't follow you

**Author's Note:**

> I literally cannot believe all of the quality Sevasey content the second half of this season is giving us, I could not feel more alive?? At this rate I should just drop out of university and dedicate my life to writing episode codas and fics detailing how in love these two are. While this fic is set after the most recent episode I have certainly not forgot the previous episodes- this fic just seemed to write itself the fastest!! The title of this fic is from Can’t See by T Scarlett. <3

Severide had seen the look on Casey's face when Brett told them that the victim had died, and he had known ever since then that this case had gotten under the captain's skin.

Not that Kelly could blame him- his stomach twisted at the thought of being in Casey’s place, at the thought of having to then face the man’s son. And then to go and hear how wonderful the father was, how that hadn’t even remotely mattered because he had died for absolutely nothing- Kelly would have taken it hard too. Then there was the fact that Casey had lost everything when his apartment was burned down mere weeks ago, and Severide kept feeling helpless fury burn through his veins because why did this all of this shit have to happen to the person who deserved it the least? 

Casey had been quiet ever since they last spoke to Chris but had agreed to come to Molly’s with Kelly later that night. Kelly would have been happy to sit and drink with him in silence, but he had wanted to give Matt a little space, so he was half-heartedly engaged in a conversation with Capp and Cruz while watching Casey down glass after glass at the bar out of the corner of his eye. 

By about the sixth glass, Severide was starting to think giving Casey space was not his best idea.

Kelly drank the rest of the beer he had been working on all night, but before he could begin to stand up Herrmann caught Kelly's eye and tilted his head slightly in Casey's direction. Kelly’s stomach plummeted at the evident concern in the older man’s eyes, and he nodded back, saying a swift goodnight to Cruz and Capp and making his way over to his friend. 

Kelly sidled up beside Matt and Casey turned to face him almost instantaneously, his face lighting up in a rare, unguarded grin. "Sev! I bet you twenty that you can't drink this-“ he held up a questionable concoction that Otis had come up with a few days ago, “all in one go.” 

Severide couldn't help but smile back at the younger man, lightly bumping their shoulders together. "I bet you I could," he says, mock-offended, "but I think I've had enough to drink for the night. Wanna head back to my place?" 

Matt pursed his lips together, evidently giving the question a serious amount of thought, and while he was distracted Kelly subtly slid Herrmann a few bills to cover the cost of the empty glasses splayed in front of his friend. “Do we still have whiskey at home?” 

Kelly felt his heart do a funny little twist at Casey calling his apartment home and had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep a ridiculous grin off of his face. “Sure we do bud. I’ll put some in your new travel mug.” 

Casey’s grin returned in full force, and the captain stood up and unsteadily reached for his coat. Severide’s hands twitched at his side, but helping his best friend put his coat on in front all of their coworkers- like he always did for girls he was about to bring to his place- was probably not the best course of action. 

Herrmann was watching the two of them, the look in his eyes too knowing for Severide’s comfort, but Kelly just nodded at the other lieutenant once Matt had gathered his things and gently shoved Casey towards the exit, keeping a firm hand on his shoulder in case he stumbled. He felt Matt start to shiver the moment the closed the door to the bar behind them, the icy air hitting them both in full force, and Casey leaned into Kelly’s side as Kelly guided them to the car (which nearly caused Kelly to slip on a patch of ice, but Matt was hopefully too out of it to notice). 

The ride home was unusually quiet- normally they would argue loudly over music choices or bitch about whatever they had watched on TV the day before- but the moment he entered the car Matt had just leaned his head against the window and closed his eyes, all of the energy he had seemed to have in the bar fading away. Sweaty strands of hair had fallen across his forehead, and Kelly had to keep a tight grip on the steering wheel throughout the entire car ride to prevent himself from reaching over and brushing them back. 

The moment Kelly managed to get them home and maneuver them into his apartment Matt made for the kitchen, presumably to find the whiskey Kelly had promised him, but Severide gently pushed Casey in the direction of his room, ignoring his noise of protest. 

“I think you’ve had enough to drink tonight Case.” Kelly’s voice was kind but firm, and his expression didn’t waver at the irate look Casey shot him. Casey didn’t put up a fight though, sliding his coat off and allowing Severide to follow him to his room. 

Matt sat heavily on his bed, bouncing a little, while Kelly leaned against the doorway. Casey’s face was cast in gold by the city lights shining through the nearby window, and even when he was drunk and drained and disheveled he was the most stunning thing Kelly had ever laid eyes on. Kelly hoped that Matt was too drunk to decipher the fact that Kelly was probably staring at him like a lovestruck idiot.

“Do you think I did the right thing,” Matt asked quietly, playing absent-mindedly with the cuff of his sweater, “telling Chris what his dad said at the crash site?” 

Kelly took a step into the room, caught off guard by the question. “Do you think that it _wasn’t_ the right thing to do?” 

Casey bit his lip, “Telling him meant confirming that his dad didn’t die instantly. That it wasn’t a quick death.” 

“You told a grieving son that he was the last thing his father was thinking about before he died.” Kelly said after a moment, ruthlessly suppressing a wave of nausea at the thought that Benny might have been thinking about him in his last moments despite their final conversation, “I don’t think that that was the wrong thing to do Matt.” 

“I used to wonder if my dad died instantly,” Matt’s voice was barely audible, and Kelly instantly stilled, his heart climbing into his throat. “If he thought about me at all before he died.” 

Kelly stared helplessly at Matt as the other firefighter let out a short, pained laugh, “I eventually realized that if he did think about me before he died it was definitely nothing good. And he certainly wasn’t planning a father-son trip for us to take-“ 

Kelly didn’t register the fact that he had moved and crouched in front of Casey and dug his hands into his knees until the other man went from staring at his lap to looking at Kelly with wide, vulnerable eyes. “Matt I don’t… I’m sorry about your dad. I am. But if he didn’t see how incredible you are then it was his fucking loss.” Matt inhaled sharply at that but remained silent. 

“And as for the victim…” Matt lowered his gaze back down to his lap, and Kelly squeezed his knees tightly. “You did all you could. And then you did so much more- just like you always do. Chris won’t ever forget that.” 

“Besides,” Kelly tried to lighten his voice, to make it teasing, but it came out a little too honest, a little too raw. “You wouldn’t be a bad last thing to see Case.” 

Matt's gaze shot up to his, and Kelly only had a brief chance to see the longing burning in his eyes before Casey moved forward and pressed their lips together. 

Kelly froze for a second, every thought coming to an abrupt halt, his mouth dropping open slightly. Matt used this opportunity to deepen the kiss, and suddenly Kelly had a hand in Casey’s hair and another pressed flat against his back and he was kissing him with every ounce of desperation and passion and want that he had felt for the other man. Casey dug his hands into the front of the coat Kelly had never bothered to take off, and it was frantic and inelegant and _perfect_ , but then Kelly registered the fact that Casey tasted like all of those drinks that the captain had just had. 

Kelly eased back slowly, hands coming up to brush against Casey's face, his resolve nearly faltering when he saw Casey's mussed hair and flustered gaze. It was so rare to see the captain so out of control and Kelly could barely breathe around the desire shooting through his veins, but he couldn’t do this even if he wanted to more than _anything._

“You’ve had a shitty few days Matt.” Kelly said softly, “And you’re drunk.” 

Matt shook his head a little wildly, biting his lip. “The past few days have nothing- Kelly, I’ve wanted to kiss you a lot longer than two weeks.” 

Kelly felt giddiness rise in his chest at that, at the honest and painfully earnest look on Matt’s face, but he stood up and gently detached himself from the other firefighter. “Ask me in the morning.” Severide couldn’t keep the warmth- and the hope- out of his voice, “When you’ve sobered up, ask me to kiss you.” 

Matt bit his lip and nodded slowly, “I will.” There was something almost defiant in his voice, like he’d interpreted Kelly’s words as a challenge, and Kelly’s lips curled up in fond amusement. He couldn’t resist brushing his fingers down the side of Casey’s face and Casey leaned into his touch without hesitation, those striking eyes fluttering shut. Kelly’s chest tightened with a visceral, feverish need that he forced himself to swallow down. 

He left Matt to get some sleep soon after, but not before making sure Casey was settled in and had water and Tylenol nearby for the morning. The moment he shut Casey’s door he leaned against it heavily, his head spinning. He pressed his fingers against his lips, a incredulous grin spreading across his face even as trepidation kicked in- would Casey actually take him up on his offer in the morning, let alone remember any of this? 

With a shaky sigh, Kelly flung himself off of the door and went to go find that whiskey.

* * *

The next morning, Casey stumbled into the living room. Severide had been staring blankly at his coffee, and Matt was freshly showered and exhausted but with the steely eyed resolve that never failed to make Kelly stop in his tracks. 

"You said..." The captain faltered slightly, eyes flickering down, "last night you said to ask you again in the morning, when I wasn't drunk. So."

He finally fixed his bright blue gaze onto Kelly, his smile shy but his eyes filled with the determination and unbreakable resolve that Kelly had fallen in love with so many years ago. "It's the morning.” 

Kelly couldn't hold back a blinding grin if he tried, striding towards the captain and sliding his hands across his waist, bringing him forward until their foreheads brushed together. “Was that you asking me,” he asked teasingly, “because I didn’t actually hear you ask a question-“

Casey, laughter spilling from his lips, just cut him off with a kiss.


End file.
